I remember it like it was yesterday.
40 VIP zone passes in total.
It all starts out the with the same ol' party routine. Me and the handsome boy Mr. L were seeing who could invite the most girls to Hennessy Artistry Halo 2011 at Mines Wonderland.
I think he ended up winning since he used up 30 passes and I invited only 10 girls. Can't beat my sifu.
My ride was pretty full.
Anyway when we reached everyone was wondering what kind of alien I was due to the beige trenchcoat I got from Esprit. All night I had people asking me whether I was hot or korean (as usual).
And so as the night progressed, I gradually got redder
And redder....
And redder.........
Until my face turned tomato. And you know how it goes down when Sam gets tipsy. Mmm!
Thanks to my idiot friends who were persistent in downing whiskey down my throat (especially Michael Yip, you sneaky bastard.) and the ridiculous amount of drinks on our tables, the back of my head was throbbing similarly to a piece of steel being hammered by a blacksmith with Thor's hammer.
I had fun though.
Now here's where the real story begins.
Hennessy ended. YES. Time to go back home..NOT
My buddy J was attending to one of the girlfriends I invited, Ms. S and she was out cold. KO'd. Floored.
(Apparently the next day she claimed someone had her down a bottle of whiskey pure in one go.) So, feeling partly responsible since I invited her to the event, I had no choice but to get my drunk ass to piggyback her from VIP zone, all the way to the main entrance, get a better phone signal and call up her friends.
I sat her on the floor, some random Samaritan passed me a water bottle for her (thank goodness) and I happened to feel thirsty. Everyone was looking at us because she sat in a monk's crossed-legged meditation position while her forehead was on the ground.
I called her friend like five times and whoop-tee-doo, they were drunk too.
At the same time I bumped into another girlfriend of mine;
(you may know her as the famous girl on TMnet unifi 'lajunyaaaa' billboards on Federal Highway
a.k.a SummerAsh a.k.a xSummer a.k.a Federal Queen a-kay I'll stop now)
My highschool buddy Mr. R was her designated driver for that night and he looked really tipsy.. or more like drunk. So I told him to drive somewhere nearby for yumcha to sober up while I transferred Ms. S to her friend's car.
I told Ashley not to let him drive no matter what. I have no idea why she let him but that led to one huge headache later on...
I walked all the way back to my car and drove it to the main entrance. We hauled her inside the back of my car. In doing so we made such a big scene that everyone was looking at us and AND THAT MOMENT, someone opened Ms. S's purse and stole her Blackberry and her iPhone 4. If I find the fucker he'll sure be breathing dirt six feet under. We finally transferred her from my car to his car, and I thought that I could finally go home to my beloved bed.
Oh, and at that moment, Ashley called me on the phone.
Sam: Hey waddup
Ashley: Sam, help.
Sam: Huh?
Ashley: We got into an accident.
Sam: you WHAT? ACCIDENT? WHERE?
I shouted so loud everyone was looking at me. (still at the main entrance)
Ashley: He crashed his car, I don't know where we are, we're somewhere near the Mines not that far off. You better hurry because he's trying to stand in the middle of the highway.
Even worse, she told me her phone battery was about to die (thanks for the short battery-life, Blackberry).
I hung up and drove off with my babe Fancy in search for the car. Thinking I was drunk due to my red face, she tried to convince me not to look for them, but no. I couldn't abandon my friends. It took while but I found them.
Ashley looked shaken. Mr. R was sitting on the pavement. Ms. C looked stoned as usual. I walked over to the car and thought it wasn't that bad. Opening my tipsy eyes wider, I inspected the trail of the accident was shocked to see he actually crashed into a street sign; then the car rammed through a wall; and he crashed into a chicken farm.
He was definitely speeding. I thought in my head. I approached the car, there were 6 dogs surrounding me and barking to no ends. I checked out the car, and the damage was enormous. There was a heavy smell of petrol.
I took the key, put it into the car and turned it. No sound. It's dead.
I got out of the car, noticed liquid streaming from underneath the car. I bent down and touched the liquid, smelled it. Gasoline. The area was dangerous.
Mr. R walked over, 'So, how?' I looked at his drunk expression, and he had lighted cigarette in his mouth. Fuck! With a swift reaction, I grabbed the cig from his mouth and threw it away from the compound. I shouted at him to get into my car. Bloody idiot... you could have set off an explosion.
Could've died right here, just like in the movies.
So walking around the accident site, I noticed something on the ground.. something calling for me. I had a good look at it, took it and put it in his car.
We went for yumcha after that and he knew his mother was going to kick his ass. We plucked a tow truck number from a friend's friend and went back to the car. The guy came after 30 min and I pushed the it together with him to get the car out of the chicken farm.
We drove all the way back to my place at Ampang (somewhere around korean town) and dropped his car off. We spent another hour looking for his car keys and they were never found.
Dumped the two in my home, dumped the other two back to their homes. This whole commotion lasted until 8.00 am in the morning, and I didn't get any sleep since Hennessy ended.
By the way, that little something I took from the ground?
My prized party possession.
A very happy car.
And the damage? Well, we asked the mechanic to total it up for us and it costs a whopping RM15,000.
To top it off, Mr. R needed to claim insurance and called me and ask for the address on the street sign since I took it. Hah.
If you wanna listen to Ashley's side of the story, go to http://summerash.wordpress.com
Don't drive when you're drunk. Sober up or you'll be sorry!
~Sam Insanity
