Sam Insanity

Training with Chelsea's coaches

Samsung invited me to train with four coaches of the world-class team of football superstars Chelsea, rivals of Manchester United!

So the other day right after my Brazilian wax here, I drove straight to Chelsea Blue Pitch at Damansara Damai located mad far away (thank science for GPS).

I then met with the coaches. Their names were Ian Woodroffe, Keith Harmes, Jamie Greenwood and Sam Hubert.

Cameras weren't allowed during training so I only managed to steal a few shots of the session.

Photo courtesy of Jason Ong [mynjayz.com]

Please lah less harsh on me.

I'll tuck my shirt in so don't scold meh.

Training was hard; super hard.

In just 15 minutes we were sweating waterfalls from warmups, and normally the team does 2 hours of warmups.

Photo courtesy of Jason Ong [mynjayz.com]

As you can see we were sweating very hard (and they gave us 1 minute breaks in between)

Do check out Jason's experience with the football training!

Sam & Sam

(Hubert and Insanity)

Ian Woodroffe

(yes my eyes can go smaller.)

Kate on the left with Jamie Greenwood.

Keith Harmes and myself

(my favorite coach! funny as hell)

boobiegrab.

End of the training we had a fun match and everyone was reeking of sweaty jerseys!

(woah I'm the second tallest....... cooool.)

I actually know how to dribble a ball now.

Thank you Samsung

for inviting Sam to an unforgettable experience.

~Sam Insanity

Chelsea vs. Malaysia (Harimau Malaya) 2011

Two days after the training, Samsung invited me to see Chelsea vs. Malaysia! Will post about training later

I got free tickets thanks to mynoobie, do check them out to get yourself free stuff! ;)

So after reaching Bukit Jalil, the police closed off the road into the stadium.

We were forced to park the car by the roadside. This is a scene of inconsiderate drivers triple and quadruple-parking other cars for the sake of the match.

Pasars set up all around, which majority sold so many fake merchandises.

Makes me wonder how it didn't get Samsung pissed with all the fakes right outside the match.

Typical irresponsible Malaysian litterbugs.

Finally after a 20 minute walk, we reach Bukit Jalil.

These noise polluting buggers selling vuvuzelas which only guys with small dicks buy.

They cost around RM5.00 each

After ticket checks, RELA Security checks for lighters/bottles/weapons.

Highlight of the day: People praying for Malaysia to win.. Really?

As if divine intervention would play a role in football -laughs-

Note the man wearing Chelsea's jersey on the far right kneeling on the flag.. dude, decide only on one team.

Confused Malaysian Tiger fans holding Chelsea flags.

Stadium was super packed even just at 7.30pm

Both sides of the stadium almost fully occupied.

Full view of Bukit Jalil Stadium at 7.50pm.

The match starts at 8.45pm so we had to wait another hour.

First brother, fifth brother and myself (Go angry birds.)

Did I mention my Lumix LX5’s maximum zoom is really crap? (Max it can go is x 3). Sorry for that!

Match is about to begin.

By the time the match begins you can see the Stadium is fully occupied with spectators of up to 95,000.

After 72 minutes.. Chelsea finally scores 1 - 0 against Malaysia.

Match ends.

If you were there you could tell the elite team Chelsea played very badly against Malaysia, the only goal they scored was also questionable.

I mean.. come on, Malaysia is known to suck at football. They even lost 8 - 1 to boyband Westlife back in 2002 as shown here.

Crowd jams the exit doors. Thankfully we parked the car 2km away from Bukit Jalil so our car was not triple-parked like many unfortunate others.

Overall, I had a blast and hope the football teams will visit Malaysia more often.

19 Odd Things You Learn By Using Twitter

@SamInsanity: You will never fail to tweet after sex.

You'll feel an overwhelming sense of boredom after ejaculation.

HOWEVER, tweeting the following might land you in deep shit.

10. Heading home in 10, once I stop at pharmacy and get my ointment.
9. LOL, looks like the condom slipped off, hope she didn’t notice.
8. Want my money back.
7. It’s confirmed, I’m definitely gay.
6. Need water, feel disgusting inside and out.
5. http://mysecretcam.com/69 — hey guys, check out the hidden cam vid I made!
4. @HungJock — Dude, you’re right, that was totally easy.
3. Getting a boner while puking in your mouth is a weird sensation.
2. Not as good as her mom, but not bad!
1. She passed the audition, I found my new secretary

@SamInsanity: Instead of 5 minutes, 2 hours pass while I'm online which greatly screws up all the work I still have to finish.

Obama: I TOLD you to disarm the nuclear missiles yesterday, TWICE!!

What in Sam's name were you doing Harper?!!

Stephen Harper: I was.. on Twitter.

@SamInsanity: All important news hits the Twitter before the news ever hears about it, which destroys fake news and propaganda.

Yes! we should go to war. You're always right, Mr. President!

@SamInsanity: Strangers online are nicer to you than strangers in real life.

Instead of the usual shit we all go through in real life.

(I so hate being around people.)

This is what my 'where u from' chats look

like after I exchange MSNs with twitter users.

and usually I'm not the one asking the questions. -grin-

@SamInsanity: Every single day, no matter who it is; someone will never fail to tweet about needing to diet.

Every day I see a friend of mine needing to diet.

@SamInsanity: There will always be someone complaining about how fat they are.

Everyday I see someone complaining about how fat they are.

@SamInsanity: You wish Twitter would make a Kick Your Ass Stop Spamming My Timeline button.

Kill yourself, please.

@SamInsanity: Schools don't do a good enough job of teaching the difference between "your" and "you're."

Them: well, your stupid.

Me: don't you mean, you're stupid? ;D

No problem, trollface.

@SamInsanity: You never fail to tweet no matter if you're walking, in class, at work, in the car, in the toilet, or even in bed.

Yeah right. Last time I checked,

you almost got killed by a car.

@SamInsanity: Sometimes, no one is listening.

God, no one gives a fuck. Take a hint?

@SamInsanity: I love being retweeted. But I hate it when others ask for RTs.

Being in the social media line, I know how you feel Ed.

@SamInsanity: I can't live without Twitter/FB anymore.

I'd rather be with my computer than with my family.

@SamInsanity: The world which we thought was so big, wasn't so big after all. The world is a small place where everyone is connected.

Which greatly annoys me, reason being

whenever I chill at Starbucks;

I get weirdos hitting me saying

'Hey I know you, you were dancing at a club the other day right?

By the way my birthday's this week, can you get me in Zouk?'.

I don't fucking know you...

My aunt just messaged me on Facebook the other day not the use the word 'Fuck'.

Kill me now, please.

@SamInsanity: You can see your friend's true colour when he/she bitches behind someone's back on Twitter/Facebook without saying the name. Your bestest friend, can be your greatest enemy.