"Sometimes I wonder if I will remain a virgin forever,
the very thought of it scares me."
R.I.P Sam the virgin
~5th of October 2009 : 1.30am~
Today I welcome the 1st of October, celebrating my two-year anniversary since the day I bought my first condom over here.
Ahh I was so innocent and pure back then. I wonder if that auntie still works there
Though my life is awesome now, being a virgin back then wasn't easy.
I was nervous. I was pressured by people around me; teased.. made fun of.
I was shy. Girls would joke about my dick size. Guys would brag about their sex jokes.
I was a social outcast. I'd lie I wasn't virgin just to avoid being made fun of and for the sake of fitting in.
I was sad. There was no one I could relate my situation to, no one I could talk to.
In poorer lesser developed countries, a common scenario plays out a group of pranksters actually decides to play a trick on someone virgin, especially girls.
Set a day, drag her out to a quiet place, surround her, and take turns rape her.
Being a girl is difficult.
Being a virgin is not funny topic to talk about or joke around among your friends; whether it be guys or girls.
Growing up, I see things differently now.
I bought my first condom two years ago on 2009, and I lost my virginity very recently last year 2010 at the age of 20, two days after my birthday which was just a year ago.
Because of all the confusion and taunting, I felt I needed to lose it instead of being mentally ready to accept it.
Now I feel a part of me is missing.. empty; it was not what I wanted.
Being a teenager is difficult. For many people it reminds them of happy times.
For some of us, we lie waiting in the dark where being young was only a time of pain.. confusion, and we grow up unhappy and differently from the others.
Please, if you are making fun of your virgin friends..
If you know a virgin out there who needs help or someone to talk to, you can ask them to talk to me,
A don't worry, there will be no judging.
I will listen.