Hello internet.
You and I are strangers, but let's get to know each other a little shall we?
Somehow, you've managed to stumble across my personal blog.
Sadly there isn't much over here to read about over here.
Ever since the Taelor Vega/Johnny Heward case broke and went viral, I've received emails thanking me, bashing me and all that, but it's nice to see something in my once empty inbox. Thank you.
I would like you; yes
You, my reader, to suggest something for me to write about. I don't usually blog until I think of something amusing I'd like to talk about, and it's quite hard to find a good topic to talk about so I just leave my blog to rot.
If you have any suggestions as to what you think I should write about, please don't hesitate to send me an email at
asksamchee@gmail.com
As much as I love to write, knowing me; I have no consistency to come up with interesting topics and this blog will probably
die if I have nothing to talk about.
I received emails asking me about how they could 'subscribe' to me. I'm sorry but I don't have that feature because in the first place, this is just my personal blog with my personal opinions and experiences and I really hate spam, vice versa I would hate to bother people with spam.
You know my name is
Sam Insanity, but you don't know my story. You've heard what I've done, but not what I've been through.
My life is a movie.
Would you like to listen to my story? Read on.
I built this blog from scratch when I was a teenager and it kept me company throughout the years as I grew up, from the time of
my depression to the time I
lost my virginity, to the time I joined my
first modeling competition, to the time I went against my father and
ran away from home; all which were key parts of my life.
I'll tell you a little secret about Sam not-so Insanity. Well, a big secret. I've kept this story locked away from everyone for over 10 years.
I'll be honest, I have no real friends; only a handful of best friends. I prefer to talk to strangers because that's when I feel someone is really listening to me. Listen to my story.
There's not much to know about me.
In the late 1990s when I was the ugly quiet nerd in highschool that no girls would look at twice, and I was hyperactive when alone at home; poorer compared to my classmates. While they owned a
GameBoy Advance and Pokemon cards, all I had was a rubberband and a ruler.
While they had the latest Nokia N-Gage phone, I was playing
Snakes on my crappy Nokia 3310. While they telling each other how cool Eminem and Linkin Park were, I secretly enjoyed listening to the music they labelled 'gay'. Backstreet Boys, Westlife, N'sync, Bryan Adams, Savage Garden, and Michael Learns to Rock.
I took my education for granted and didn't participate in any extra-curriculum activities. I secretly loved acting and singing, but I was scared of others judging me. I hung around douchebags who thought they were the coolest kids in school; I wanted to fit in.
I didn't see the point in my education.
My dad was a very harsh and abusive man who was the source of my
depression while I was younger. He had that kind of mentality of Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler or Leonidas from the 300. I'm not kidding.
If he didn't like something, he'd shout verbal abuse loudly and embarrass you. His anger management was
so bad, he would throw anything he sees at you and punch your face.
I was heavily abused among all my 4 brothers. Punched in the face, pulling out grass from the frontyard in the scorching sun, smashed with a textbook in my forehead, hit with a torchlight, locked outside my home; the list just goes on. I hated the man while I was younger, but he taught be how to be strong and I have undying respect for him.
As a form of escapism, I grew an
online addiction and got on GaiaOnline, played MMORPGs like O2Jam, Warcraft, posted on online forums, watched anime, read manga (still read Naruto) and; as much as I'd hate to mention it; I became good at flirting with girls online and eventually had an online girlfriend from Texas for 2 years (we eventually broke up though we met each other later on). And I flunked my GCE A-levels during that time.
I was trapped. Forced to work in my dad's business; it's all written in my blog. You know how the whole father-and-son business thing goes. I felt so lifeless and depressed in that office cubicle for 3 years,
I wanted suicide. Caged by my dad, I was going insane. Out of a whim when mom saw modeling auditions for Ford Models taking place, she asked me to join and I jumped at it. Amber Chia the no.1 supermodel in Malaysia changed my life.
After I ended up as top 10 male models of Malaysia, I broke out of the cage and saw the world with my own eyes.
I was letting out.
With all my feelings bottled up inside; all the sadness, the pain, and all the depression I kept bottled inside me; I let it all out.
I frequented events; usually the ones in the fashion scene. People actually think I'm a model, which I find so hilarious, although I've done stuff for my portfolio over
here. It was pretty cool to get a lot of free stuff like DKNY perfumes and Topshop items.
I usually went to big VIP alcoholic events like Johnnie Walker and Hennessy. More and more people knew me from extreme partying and letting out, which can be seen
here or mainly
here.
I was being seen with
women in almost every event. I loved it. I never experienced anything like it outside that stupid office cubicle.
I
met a girl and fell in love. She taught me so many things and changed my life; changed the way I carried myself. Without her, my hair would probably look like Steve Aoki and I'd still be wearing $5.00 shirts. She stood by me and dealt with my emotional shit for almost 2 years. I wasn't good at expressing my true feelings. She completed me, but I felt something was missing from my life; I wanted more. I desired freedom, I desired my goals. I took her for granted and she left me. I learned a lot from her, and I regret losing her. Everything about Kate was wonderful, and I hope there's someone out there who can make her happier than I ever could.
Here's a secret, I'm allergic to alcohol. I have starch allergy, and drinking one can of beer makes my whole body red. No one believes me, and that is the reason why I'm always drunk, and when I'm drunk, I save lives and
steal street signs as well as make
brazilian waxing appointments I don't know about.
The freedom burned out.
I was building a network; but after meeting all the big-shot celebrities in the country, at the end of all my efforts, I found out it was all pointless waste of time. I found that everyone who came up to me wanted something from me. I looked for friends to stick with me, but there was no one.
I found I was different from the others.
I'm at the point in my life where I've seen it all. I'm not famous, just pretty well-known in Malaysia. I'm distancing myself from everyone again and I stopped going to events because of all the fake people I didn't need in my life. I'm surrounded by fakes everywhere, and I found that being alone back then made me stronger.
That is why I spend a lot of time on 9GAG. The guys over there know me well and I'm a regular. Go ahead and google 'Sam Insanity 9gag'. Sadly real life is calling me and I'll have to leave my online life again.
My family is pretty dysfunctional with everyone staying in their own rooms doing their own thing, but we love each other.
It wasn't easy to keep smiling for so many years feeling sad and broken inside.
I changed so much from a sad little nerdy boy into a confidently childish, but secretly cold and cynical man.
I've learned so much in just 2 years, I can't even believe I'm living this life.
I made a decision to go back to college, and it's a decision I have never regretted. Right now I'm doing some acting for YouTube on the side which can be seen over
here and most famously over
here.
I've become well-known because of Amber Chia, Ming Han, Joseph Germani, Dan Khoo, JinnyBoy and Reuben, I thank them for that. I'll be busy producing my own short videos soon; please look out for it.
And that my friends, is my story.
On the right sidebar are some articles I wrote, they're pretty crap but if you're free why the hell not->
I wrote about the 7 ways to become irresistible to women when I was 19. Heh. How wrong I was.
I don't update all that often because I keep myself busy in real life. If you do have any suggestions of what I should write about, please do suggest something and send an email to
asksamchee@gmail.com; otherwise I'll just leave this blog to rot. I would also like to get to know you, so feel free to have a little chat with me on my
Facebook or my
Twitter.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I'm weird. I like weird people. I like talking to strangers and staying online over real life.
I feel like the whole world is watching me right now, and I wanted to tell you; you guys are all I have.
Thank you.
~Sam Insanity~
