Zits. nobody loves em'

Dear Diary,
Wednesday 3rd of December 2008, 11.15pm-ish

As usual gym on Wednesday, I found a good exercise to work on my trapezius :3
I bought that nice checker pattern shirt for RM49 from a friend's shop, it came with a tie but i think unbuttoned is better~ wait.. it doesnt look good unless my chest is buffed up D:

i love my phone (N82) but I also hate it for showing so much of my zits
my zits and high cheekbones make me doubt i can model, i mean i've been a promotional model before but i dont think i can do normal modelling despite my good 6' height =(

i have tiny scars on my face, unnoticeable until you look closely, and scars from zits from long ago
i hope dermatologists have some kind of surgery for my pimples and treatment for the scars, otherwise i'll keep having a low self-esteem, i know online girls just love my face but the local ones dont seem to be showing any interest in me, im losing confidence! T-T

i confess i have been anorexic for the past 8 months, my face used to have a round shape, now i have effing protruding cheekbones making me look like micheal jackson and Lee chong wei ~sigh~ i hope one day i can look at my face and smile proudly at it without searching for blackheads and zits, its an issue thats been plaguing me since i was 16

2 days left till amanda flies in here from singapore, its going to be fun shopping around with her :)
3 days left till my bottom right tooth gets extracted, this is gonna be so cool.
i keep wondering about going back to study, this time in taylor's college for Mass Comm,

i'm a people's person who also balances time with myself, but is isnt easy to study literature and politics is it, i heard those're required in mass comm, i hope to host a tv channel one day, i'm alright with being a deejay. But how in the world am i going to take on the world's sexiest men and achieve that title with red blots and zit scars on my face x[ i'm super confident of my personality though, nothing can stop it.

well, time to put on some Elianto moisturizer and get to bed, good night for now, there's a new Tae kwon do class at Gold's Gym 8pm, i'll go check it out with Christian.

~Sam